self-help that I didn’t know I needed
I read and own Alex Elle’s book How You Heal and am proud to report that I did all of the journal work from that book. for me personally, I revisit that book and the journal work from it often. one of my favorite self-care practices that I continue to do regularly is the “Dear Self” entries. it was recommended that after you write them to record them in audio note format. I wanted to take action and make progress in my self help journey.
I awoke to feeling doubtful. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my old patterns of thinking don’t creep in from time to time. one of the self-sabotaging behaviors I spent too long in was denying myself to feel worthy. The “not enough” complex was rappant.
my mom died in May of 2023 and the grieving work that I did catapulted me into a lot of self-help books, podcasts and audiobooks. I highlighted books, I journaled, I meditated, I talked, I cried, cried more and truly allowed myself to grieve the most profound loss of my life.
it rocked me to my core. it opened so many childhood wounds and realized that while reading The Body Keeps The Score by Besssel van Der Kolk was incredibly helpful it also acted as flood gate. I enlisted the help of an EMDR therapist to help me through the traumas I had experienced and in turn provided me the ability to return to parts of myself that I didn’t get to fully process and feel.
one of the most beautiful gifts that came out of all of this was my ability to organize my thoughts in a way that made sense to me. I had always loved to write, collect quotes and lyrics that helped to validate my feelings so going into this new journal was familiar to me. a type of self-help I didn’t realize I needed.
what was different was how I was able to divide it into sections that made sense to my brain. my cognitive brain can get to the best of me and this new healing work helped me to balance it out with emotional work. I created a daily “to-do list”. not a chore list of things to get done for house, family or myself per see, but a way to organize my wants and needs for myself. this technique gives myself permission to put down things on my list that I not only need but what I also want. prior to this practice my old core beliefs was if I wanted it but didn’t need it I wouldn't allow myself to get it.
the next section is a free journal section mixed with gratitude work and full/new moon rituals. I also have sections that are by topic of areas that I need more clarity on (relationships with people, money and myself to name a few). and lastly a section for me to create. and that’s where therapeutic art began. inside this new journal is where I began painting while reprocessing.
I cannot wait to share more parts to this journal to show you first hand how it is all set up. before I get to that I’d like to include my last “Dear Self” audio recording that was inspired by Alex Elle. take notice to how I sign off on the entry where I say ”so proud of you girl.” I hear that in my head because my mom would say that to me. and while the voicemail that I am also including for you to hear doesn’t say it exactly, it’s the closest example that I have. it feels nice to get validation from others, but I am here to tell you that validating myself in a similar way that I use to hear from my mom, is even more powerful when saying it to myself.
thanks for listening and I hope I played a role in getting your own self help journey started or reactivated.
xo-d