at times it can be difficult to start the art session as I find I can be too much in my head overthinking where to begin. I have noticed that I need to quiet my thoughts to allow my emotions/feelings/mood to guide me while making intentional art.
the discomfort will eventually be found in my work. and several steps into the paint process I often will cover it up. I doubt myself that my vague ideas will bring me to a place of liking what i’ve done.
along the way I settle into the curiosity of what it can become and begin to see sections that I really like. I can notice and welcome the calmness this space offers me and that openness allows me to start seeing the sections talking to one another in which i’m able to see balance, color placement and shapes that make me feel hopeful.
multiple times I have to mindfully push down the interfering thoughts of “not enough” because it offsets the flow to my work. I will continue to cover up sections that don’t feel right and in those moments I try to see the connections of me hiding in the shadows that I feel so vulnerable making. adding layers over those parts and even trying to scratch out to reveal what is under the layers that I once thought needed covering. if I sit with that section and work on it with intention, it can easily become the focal point of the artwork. the hidden pieces of my story/pain begin to emerge and I am able to find contentment that the piece feels finished.
often as the art is drying I can feel joy in the moments of seeing the wet paint before it fully dries into the finished piece. I have noticed that this is a sweet spot for me and have learned that photographing these sections have helped me to stop time so I can revisit those moments again. in a way they are memories that feel good for my soul. I will even admit that sometimes I like the photographs more than the finished painting. it becomes apparent to me that if I didn’t stop to appreciate it before it dried it would have been difficult to recall those memories otherwise. those photographs become treasures as I can associate the emotions that were inadvertently so important for me to have processed.
occasionally I will go back to the art and add nuances to it after it has dried. sometimes the complexity of what arises in those sessions are too big for me to hold in one sitting and I need to revisit them to fully understand what it is teaching me. I see this as a reminder that sometimes I have to allow myself to fully feeling my feelings despite how many times it takes for it to feel complete.
I have been learning that painting is my subconscious recalling memories that I am calling forward into my conscious to find logic in and the photographs are representations of my processing and releasing of the emotions that i did not get the opportunity to fully feel in those times.
thanks for reading along. i’d love to guide you through your own intentional art process to learn more about what the metaphors are teaching you. I invite you to join the newsletter to receive updates on self-guided practices.
xo-d